APHA

IMG_4224, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

Just returned from a week in Philadelphia and DC. APHA was fun albeit short (I was only there for a day). My remaining time at NIH was filled with new knowledge regarding how to model reproductive hormones using various statistical techniques. While I had a wonderful time, I am happy to be back home with Ruthie and Alan. A big note of appreciation to Scarlett and Christy for sharing their room in Philly with me (and directing me to the best of Philly food vendors) and also to Susan and Nick for generously opening their doors and sharing their companionship during my stay in DC.

Ruthie

Ruthie, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

Ruthie is very excited about her new t-shirt for theater camp at the U of U. School finished yesterday. She was sad to say goodbye to her beloved neighborhood school but is looking forward to new endeavors at the science academy next year.

Ruthie

Ruthie, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

This photo is taken from Alan's cell phone so it is not his best shot. However, Ruthie's expression of delight (just returning from the library with a bag of books, donning her new purple scarf) is worth documenting, ahhh the good life at age eleven...

A glorious weekend

We had a wonderful trip last weekend up to The Utah Nordic Alliance's Yurt in the Uintah Mountains. Ruthie was a real trooper! We didn't get to the trailhead until 6pm Friday evening and thus ended up all wearing our headlamps to make the ascent. Despite not having rented the best gear for Ruthie (i.e. true backcountry skis with skins), she let her endurance shine. Fortunately, Saturday and Sunday were gloriously sunny days and we had packed enough food to stay a week. Our descent was a bit hairy (icy, uneven snow conditions), but again, Ruthie revealed her Norweigian heritage and arose from each fall with a smile. A big thanks to Alan for volunteering last fall to get the yurt ready for the season and thus securing us a 2-night reservation during peak season. This will hopefully be an annual event for as long as we continue to call Utah home.

Alan at 40

Alan at 40, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

We celebrated Alan's 40th birthday last week. I met him when he was 25 and we have been actively relating ever since. Amazing passage of time. A good man. Currently strumming on his latest passion--an acoustic guitar. Let the adventure of life march along....time to put my now not so little daughter to bed.

A good relationship

Karen and Virginia, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

Google mother-in-law and the first three listings are: Mother-in-Law Stories and Jokes, Dealing with Mother-in-Law Conflicts and Mother-in-Law defined by Wikipedia (more comedies, stereotypes and jokes). And so, as I prepare for perhaps some day being the bane of my daughter's partner, I feel blessed to have such a good relationship with Alan's mother, Virigina, who has been nothing but supportive of me and my pursuits. Alan and I have joked that Virginia is a better advocate for me as is my mother for him than for their own children. While hopefully Alan's and my relationship stands solidly on its own, I must admit the support we receive from one another's family is a much appreciated safety net.

Longing for Summer Fun

Ruth and Karen at Lake Atwood, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

I sit in front of my computer in my little cubicle with less than a week before summer officially ends and long for the carefree days of August when I spent more time in and on the water than time spent eating and sleeping.

Ruth in Muggle Disguise

Ruth as a muggle
Originally uploaded by alanmcq

Ruthie had a fun time this past week at her Wizarding World day camp with seven other Hogwart friends. On the morning this photo was taken, she woke up inspired to dress as Luna Lovegood. Alan and I ran around popping corks off my homemade bulletin board and drilling holes in them for a cork necklace, but simply ran out of time. No worries, a mismatch array of attire and off she was to camp as a Wizard disguised as a Muggle.

Tonight she requested a bedtime story, Magyk by Angie Sage. I can't recall reading a single fantasy novel during my child or adulthood. I realize now, however, that if I wish to stay "in touch" with my daughter, I must at least begin with the first book in the Harry Potter series. Sunday, we leave for a 3-week vacation to the midwest hinterlands, a good time to meet this Dumbeldore fellow I have been hearing so much about.

Joshua & Cecily's Wedding

Joshua & Cecily's Wedding, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

I just received this photo taken of Alan and Ruthie three years ago at my cousin's wedding in New York City. Shocking to see how much Ruthie has changed in three years. Comforting to see that her relationship with Alan (at least at the core) has not. When I met Alan, I did not know if I even wanted to have children. But one thing (among others) that truly struck me about him back then was what a good dad he would make. And after now 10 years of parenting our only child, I see how true my inkling was. He has been the most patient, playful, wise and comforting father to Ruthie. She and I are both fortunate.

Ruth Lake and Environs

One week post our trip up to the Ruth Lake area of the Uintas and I am already homesick. Ruthie finally got to try out her new frame backpack for an overnight up to Hayden Lake. Despite the pesty mosquitoes, we had an exquisite time. I must quit complaining about how much I miss the Minnesota Lakes. Ruthie and I had a delightful time swimming in Hayden Lake.

We came back from the hike with a pact to return this weekend. However, we learned upon our return that Harry and the Potters were on tour and would be making their stop in SLC tonight. Despite having had her best weekend yet this summer, Ruthie could not miss this very special event. Alan and I were a bit sad but decided to make the best of it. I took on a bathroom paint project while he decided to get up at 4am this morning to summit Gobblers Knob with the dogs.

Ruthie is excited for Wizarding World camp this week and I am busy coordinating the American Medical Writers Association Rocky Mountain Chapter conference this coming Saturday. Hopefully a planned family hike on the Bonneville shoreline tomorrow will keep us in condition for our next Uinta Mountains family excursion.

The Joy of Cooking Rekindled

A Garden Party, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

July has been a month of reconnecting with friends. For me (with no pressing paper, assignment or exam deadlines), I have fallen back in love with both creating and consuming food. The high nineties heat has brought the enticement of Mediterranean cuisine. I long to have our friend's pergola layered with grape vines. I don't even dare ask for their dolmades recipe, knowing that their harvested fresh grape leaves are the key ingredient. While not strictly localvore, the following hummus recipe that my friend, Maria, passed on to me (filed simply as "Ruth's Favorite Hummus") is my daughter's favorite. Since my daughter has reintroduced us to vegetarianism (my husband and I fairly strict until I became pregnant 10 years ago and started to crave protein in the meat form), I am always looking for good, kid-friendly bean recipes.

Ruth's Favorite Hummus (from Maria)

1 (15 oz can) garbonzo beans, drained rinsed and skins removed*

1 medium garlic clove, minced or pressed

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 pinch of cayenne

3 tablespoons juice from a large lemon

1/4 cup tahini (sesame paste)

1/4 cup virgin or extra-virgin olive oil

1/4 cup water

Process all of the ingredients in a food processor until smooth, about 40 seconds. I usually hold off on a bit of the water then add it until I reach the consistency I like.

You can eat it straight away or chilled.

It can be refrigerated up to 2 days.

*This could be the secret to why Ruth loves this hummus. Rinsing the beans and removing the skins eliminates some of the funny, pasty taste.

Moving on to July

Lucky has completed her three weeks of theater camp. She has thoroughly enjoyed her workshops in Shakespeare and Acting Methods along with her part as the Urchin Girl in the Yellow Company. I was sad not to see her perform, away for a meeting. But according to Lumber, she was stellar. She is excited for her next camp, Young Authors. Let the creative summer continue!

Lucky's Bulletin Board

lucky's bb, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

This snapshot of Lucky's bulletin board was simply a photography exercise for Lumber. But after viewing it, both Lumber and I were struck by how it so vividly captures the personality of our daughter. She includes a brochure from her all-time favorite summer camp, a swim meet registration form, a picture of her dear friend taken at last summer's arts festival, several cut-out animal pictures, an updated total of her piggy bank savings and a little reminder note: "Do Not Remove! Make Meeko a Birthday Party on August 23rd at Sugarhouse Park."

Ever-Faithful Meeko

Meeko @ Alexander Basin, originally uploaded by alanmcq.

Tribute to a Running Dog

I came home from work yesterday with a nauseating headache. I had spent a good deal of the day tediously manipulating computer files in classic Sisyphean style. My impulse was to collapse on the couch, escaping the searing mid-90 summer day. But there my ever-faithful running buddy stood, greeting me at the door, giving me the "can we go" look.

Despite being nearly 13 years old, our Aussie-Border Collie, Meeko, has always loved to run. (Her greatest accomplishment was summiting King's Peak, Utah's highest mountain, with Lumber many moons ago, a 32-mile, 5080-ft-elevation-gain trip.) With who knows what percentage of Border Collie in her, this is no surprise. According to the Border Collie Rescue organization: "To truly exercise a Border Collie, you must be willing to put in a couple of hours each day, in some form of exercise or activity. Border Collies can remain confined to the house all day while you are away at work but do not expect to come home and relax. Border Collies have been described as having the energy output of a miniature nuclear reactor. And like all nuclear power, it can be quite dangerous if it is not controlled." www.bcrescue.org/bcwarning.html

I was not a "dog person" when I met Lumber. I remember on one of our early dates, we had dinner at the house where he was dog sitting. The dogs greeted me at the door with jumps and whines and licks and I started to cry (yes, it didn't help that the timing was during a monthly biorhythm low point). He turned to me and said, "I am sorry but these are like my brothers. If you can't get along with dogs, I don't know how we will do together as a couple." I didn't take it as an ultimatum for that was not his intention. It was just a simple sentiment summing to: "I love dogs and I hope you can grow to love them too."

And admittedly, I have. No, I do not love the constant stream of dog hair and the occasional dog messes in our house. But as my dad said, "A dog will be good for you; it will make you more relaxed." And yes, it has. Our house has an organic feel to it with the dogs. They make the outdoor/indoor division less stark as the dirt travels freely from the garden to the kitchen floor. And as much as I panic when a visitor comes to the door (the jumping/whining/licking phenomenon replayed) and swear each time that "we will get these dogs trained", I can't help but appreciate their welcoming reception. Who else is that excited to see you.

So, I walked right past the couch, put on my running clothes (as little as was decently possible for a 42-year-old woman) and shoes, grabbed my other new love (an Ipod shuffle that Lumber keeps forever novel by downloading selections from his 5000-some song collection) and headed out the door with Meeko and our four-year-old mischievous Jack Russell Terrier, Maisy. And not so surprisingly, my headache disappeared.

The Wig

IMG_0510, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

Lucky and her friends have written a script called "Life" and have been spending their free time filming. After the last shooting, she pleaded for me to take her to our neighborhood costume store so that she could buy a wig to enhance her character. Both Lumber and I were a bit concerned about how much she needed this $24 prop and whether, within a day or two, it would end up in some drawer gathering dust. Since then, it has been combed numerous times in addition to getting a thorough wash.

Our Little Thespian

Our Little Thespian, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

School is out and Lucky is off to theater camp. She had a great first day; but after 6 1/2 hours of acting followed by 1 hour of swim team, the start of summer is anything but relaxing.

Off to Work

Off to work, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

Uggh, off to work....but at least it's summer. Wheeee!

Coach Retires

After three great years as volunteer soccer coach, Lumber bids his farewell. He wrote such a nice resignation note, I had to share it:


Dear Parents and Players,

Soccer is over for another year and summer activities beckon. On to swimming, camping, traveling, and the dozens of other activities that fill our summers.

Many thanks to you all for making this such a great season. As players, you each brought your best selves to the games and practices. I feel fortunate to have seen you consistently meet the challenges of injury, inclement weather and skilled opponents with courage and equanimity.

Many thanks to you, the parents, as well for being so supportive of your children. From what I've witnessed, each of your children will do well in life with you as their advocate.

Finally, I regret to announce that I will not be coaching next year. While it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience, I am looking forward to watching the games as a spectator. My original motivation in coaching was simply to support my daughter's flicker of interest. Fortunately her interest has grown strong and she will continue to play. If any of you has the time or the slightest inclination, I highly recommend the experience.

See you on the sidelines. Best to all and warmest regards.

Moving Up and Away

Lucky continues to grow as fast as the tomato plant she is nurturing in our backyard. After now nearly a year in her own bed, she has broken away from needing a cuddle partner to fall asleep (in honesty, the shingle spook helped her to make the final break). And yesterday, she spotted a tank top at Whole Foods Market that she fell in love with. Size: women's extra small. Not long until she and I are borrowing clothes.

Three more days until school is out. I am looking forward to savoring the summer with her. Having reached double digits, she is now past the half-way mark of childhood.

Loving June

Loving June, originally uploaded by kcsphotos.

Shingles & Springles

My life has given me a wake-up call: take it easy and sleep more. After a busy, sleep-deprived first half year, I am ready to R & R for summer. Sleep deprived? With a 10-year-old? No, just trying to live out my dreams of academic excellence at age 42. I am in my first year of a PhD in Public Health. And yes, I was trying to work two jobs--one of which had me traveling across the state and the other of which I wanted to make sure I appeared competent (the former: contract writer/trainer for the State Office of Education and the latter: a research assistant for a family practioner/associate professor in the Department of Family and Preventive Medicine).

And so, last week I came down with what I thought was an infected bug bite but turned out to be shingles. Embarrassed to say I even had a "case" since compared to the pictures I viewed on the web, mine was very mild. Yes, irritating and annoying but barely visible and certainly not debilitating. What the shingles did for me was to say "You need to sign up for less and get more rest."

And so, life has been good. Hanging out in the garden with Lucky and our two dogs. Planning weekend hikes and backpacking trips. Trying out new recipes and paying attention to house details. My simple goal for the summer: work when I am at work, relax when I am at home or on vacation. Simply read a few good books, something I haven't done for what seems like years.

A Week of Loss

Eleven weeks into my pregnancy, I started to miscarry. I had a friend who miscarried twice after forty years old who always warned me that if I wanted a second child ever, to do it before forty. My husband and I went to get a conclusive diagnosis as to the state of the pregnancy two days ago. I never did have the abdominal cramping or heavy bleeding I had heard about. Both an external and vaginal ultrasound determined that I had indeed miscarried. We received a lot of good information about risk factors. Thirty to forty percent chance that I would have another preterm labor if I was to get pregnant again, given that my nine-year-old daughter was delivered preterm at 32 weeks. However, the chance of preterm labor could be minimized with close monitoring and possible progesterone hormone injections at the later stages of pregnancy. Miscarriage is a whole other problem given my age. Most of the literature concurs that women under the age of 35 have a 15% chance of miscarrying while that number goes up to 50% for women over 40. (The rate of miscarriage for unknown pregnancies is much higher; this occurs when a pregnancy is lost shortly after implantation, resulting in bleeding that occurs around the time of a woman's expected period).

And so, now it is time to reflect on how my husband and I feel about having another child with one who is nearly ten years old. The experience was clearly eye-opening for my daughter. She has forever pleaded to be an only child. After I became pregnant, her outlook changed. She asked to go to the yarn store so that she could get the supplies she needed to knit a baby blanket. She was excited about witnessing the early stages of my changing body. And when I miscarried, the tears were shed by her. I shed a few tears as well, which surprised me a bit, given that I tend to be very "calm, cool and collected" about what most people consider sentimental events. I know that my husband would like another child. And now I see that my daughter would like a sibling as well. I admit that I am scared to completely give up the external life I am beginning to live. The recent events of finishing my masters degree, starting a new job, embarking on my PhD have been personally satisfying. The recognition for a job well done in the business or academic world is intoxicating for me. Can I have both? Something that needs serious contemplation over the next few months. For time is not necessarily on my side. As my ob-gyn expressed, if I wish to have a second child, I should do so in the next year or two....

Introduction

I am a 41-year-old woman who has a 9-year-old daughter. I find myself pregnant with a second child. As cliche as it may be, time does go by so fast with a growing child. My husband bought some new video software so he was able to post the short videos we had taken of my daughter up on the web. I hadn't watched these since they were taken four and two years ago. The leap of growth and maturity, even the change of the voice, is startling.

I know this will be my last child. And so, I am using this blog as a way to document both of their lives. I have never been able to write a diary, because it is difficult to write to myself. But if I can feel that I am writing a letter to them, as a sort of picture scrapbook, then I am hoping that the words and the energy to write will come more easily.